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#924957 - 10/12/17 11:32 PM Today's Funny
twoshoes Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 3965
Loc: PA

An elderly, but hardy cattleman from Texas once told a young female neighbor that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal each morning.. She did this religiously and lived to the ripe old age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 21 great-grandchildren, five great-great-grandchildren and a 40 foot HOLE where the crematorium used to be.
_________________________
Tom




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#924959 - 10/13/17 07:40 AM Re: Today's Funny [Re: twoshoes]
Just_Bill Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 01/27/02
Posts: 23238
Loc: Wilmington, Delaware
grin laugh

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#924968 - 10/13/17 11:57 AM Re: Today's Funny [Re: twoshoes]
Able_Dog Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 52531
Loc: So. Florida
That's an old one Tom, LOL

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#924975 - 10/13/17 02:11 PM Re: Today's Funny [Re: twoshoes]
Ernie Offline

Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 08/01/01
Posts: 48568
Loc: Southern CA
Doctor ran some tests
on a man who was very ill frown
Doctor then called his wife and said
if you stop nagging him and wait on him
serving him good healthy meals plus
do all the chores around the house ... whistle
Your husband can be expected to
life a ``long healthy life``... smile


The husband asked his wife
What did the Doc have to say ? confused
She looked him in the eyes and said..
" Well He said You're Going to Die ! "`eek

`` A Nutter ``Oldie ! grin
~~

_________________________
---------
~~~ Amazing Grace ~~~

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#924981 - 10/13/17 03:17 PM Re: Today's Funny [Re: Ernie]
Able_Dog Offline
Carpal Tunnel

Registered: 12/07/03
Posts: 52531
Loc: So. Florida
That reminds me of the two rednecks camping, Clem gets bitten on the butt by a poisonous snake and Jed says I'll run into town and get some help. Jed was told by a doctor, you have to lance the bite with a knife and suck the poison out.

Jed gets back and Clem says, what did you find out.

Jed says, doc said you gonna die.

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