You might be an Upstate New Yorker if ....
you can pronounce Skajaquada, Cheektowaga, Irondequoit and Oswego, Canandaigua as well as Cohoes, Greenwich, Skaneateles, Cairo, Colonie,
Schodack, Chili, Schagticoke, Berlin, Rensselaer...
you should be able to spell it correctly as well, namely
you figure the roads are passable so long as the snow isn't scraping
the bottom of your car
you think c-r-e-e-k is a really stupid way to spell "crick"
you never even consider parking the car so that jumper cables can't
reach the battery
you cringe whenever you hear the word "city" attached to "New York"
you laugh when people refer to Westchester County as upstate.
your car engine outlasts the body.
your parents tell you about how they use to walk to school up hill
in a snowstorm, bothways, etc.... and you believe them!
a selling point to the shovel you just purchased was "good
You know enough to stay out of the North Country in May and
Poughkeepsie is Downstate
You put your snow tires on in October and take them off in May
You're not sure where Westchester is
you leave your ski racks permanently installed
Your boss tells you you're lucky to have a job
you brag about being mere hours away from major metropolitan areas,
but you never go to them
your supermarket is littered with test-marketed foods
you pay more attention to your TV weatherman than you do the Pope
you consider civil service a good job
you pronounce it "Aww' bnee"
you're always explaining to out-of-staters how your part of New York
has clean air and woods and lakes and mountains, not skyscrapers and
you can't think of two good reasons not to move to Arizona, but you
stay in New York
your governor thinks you live in Siberia
you're considering moving to Canada because of the milder climate.
you had a whole week off from school because of snow days.
you even went to Canada to buy gas.
you ever went to Canada to buy beer.
you know where the southern tier is.
you consider Long Island to be a part of New Jersey and you think
we should make them an offer.
Long Island is pronounced LONG ISLAND, not LONGUYLAND.
know that people actually live and work in Saratoga Springs year
round (not just during the racing season as a summer hobby)
if the major industry in your town is dairy farming.
if the New York State Department of Corrections employs more than
half of your city/town's population.
you decide not to go hunting in the Adirondacks when you see a sign
en route that says, "Bear left"
you understand the term "south on the Northway."
a friend from Elsewhere tells you that they got eight inches of snow and
you think they meant last night, not all winter.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.